Bugs and Gratitudes

Yesterday I drove through sleet and snow to the supermarket for chicken wings and tiger prawns, lemon grass, coriander, limes and what-all else in order to make the best hot sour soup ever. I made stock with the chicken wings while Mr. Signs inhaled essence of thyme and eucalyptus and I didn’t get further than that. We both have bad colds (his with sore throat and cough,) and the situation is unusual in that he does not as a rule get ill and I do not get proper colds. You might think that this is not part of the vanilla picture I forsaw in the previous post, but we were ill then too, and so is almost everyone in my village, if reports are to be believed, with sickness and/or cold viruses that do not shift. For people who are not used to lingering malaise, it can be scary when things like this go on for more than ten days or so. For me it is more of the same: waiting for the chink of possibility. It has not been realistic to hope to apply the Process in any meaningful way but I hope to get back on track with a couple of follow-up sessions once the bugs have gone.

Meanwhile, after reading Ms Baroque's new year post, I have been considering writing a list of things I am grateful for. Time was I couldn’t bear doing things like that but have to grudgingly admit that there are benefits, because look at it this way: things are only as crap as you think they are. Well, we don’t need to go into that one too deeply, but what I always say is - when in doubt there is always chocolate, and I will begin with this.

I am grateful for Chocolat Noir by Pierre Marcolini. I was given a slab of this by my youngest brother for Christmas. He said that eating it was “like having sex”, but I say it’s the only dark chocolate I have eaten in any quantity that has not given me migrainey headache. It is exquisite and reassuringly expensive. And I am grateful for my brother

I am grateful for my new peppermint-green iPod Nano – well at any rate I love the idea of it, even though I tried walking around the supermarket yesterday, with Badly Drawn Boy crooning into my ears, but only lasted a few minutes as I became disorientated when contemplating Sainsbury’s Basic chicken wings (yes, I prefer free range but they were the only ones to be had). The thing is it comes with two sets of speakers and may well be significant in bringing music back into my life. And I am grateful for Him Outdoors who gave it to me.

I am grateful for the installation of iTunes on my computer and the music that has been put there (and on iPod) by Son of Signs, as part of Christmas present. And I am grateful for Son.

I am grateful for the twisty metal necklace and blue gifts I received from Daughter of Signs – a marble egg, opium incense cones and a feather quill (Cusp? It’s like Poesie’s quill). And I am grateful for Daughter.

I am grateful for my cat. She is, it must be said, becoming more eccentric with the passing years, preferring to drink directly from the water filter tap than from her bowl, and nesting on the plastic draining board by the sink at inconvenient times. But we favour each other with constant regard and she is my familiar, as I am hers.

I am grateful for my old style lightbulbs (see recent Guardian article by Lionel Shriver) the quality of light that comes from them, and the reassuring circle of light cast by my old anglepoise lamp. I have mentioned dear anglepoise before and will again no doubt, because there are no such lamps to be bought now. When everything else is bleak and riddled with doubt, the circle of light is good and large enough for me to be alive in.

I am grateful that 2007 is over and the new year has begun. No particulars, but it was too hard and I am not Polyanna.

With or without the lightning or the lightening, I want to spread wings; freewheel a little.