Monday, June 13, 2011

more sugar

Lawks! This is one of those untranslateable words - a bit like the Anglo-Saxon Hwaet! that you might find at the beginning of a narrative poem. The literal meaning of Hwaet is 'what' but what it really means is right then, folks, listen up! Wiktionary says that Lawks is an expression of surprise, a stereotypical utterance of a cockney house-servant in literature, particularly 19th and early 20th century. Whatever. I use it to mean something like, oof - well here I am again!

Or, perhaps - here I am, still, having absolutely nothing to declare but my genius! This is perhaps stretching the Lawks a bit, especially if one hasn't actually done anything in particular to prove one's genius. Never mind, I am testing the boundaries of sugar addiction. I am alone in Brighton with a packet of sweets - mint crumbles - that a friend left lying in the cupboard after her stay here as a gesture of appreciation. Actually, she left walnut whips and booze as well. Alcohol gives me such a headache these days it is easy to leave that alone. Mr. Signs ate the walnut whips as I sat and shivered. He is not here right now and I have eaten a mint crumble - just the one. Instant bliss, and a kind of shine hovering around. There is elevation. It will not last for more than half an hour and is very interesting to observe. I used to work in a drugs crisis centre where people were withdrawn from whatever they were on before going on to long-term rehab. Withdrawing someone physically from a drug is actually the easy part. If an addiction is established, the deep, visceral longing for a drug is written into the body and won't be so easily erased. For a sugar-sensitive person, sugar affects brain function the same way that heroin does. First the sugar high - the feel-good rush that addicts crave, then the withdrawal. I am learning all about it, remembering how, over twenty years ago, I told a homeopath I was seeing that I was concerned about the amount of sugar I seemed to need. She said it was ok - if you need sugar, then have it. But the feel-good rushes grow less over time, you need more of the stuff, a steady supply that increases. Then the insulin receptors become deranged and mere anarchy is loosed upon the system. The centre will not hold, the falcon will not hear the falconer - etc. My guess is that W.B. Yeats probably knew something about blood sugar disorder.

This is all so rockanroll, isn't it? Makes a change from boring old M.E., at any rate. Not that boring old M.E. has moved out, but looking on the bright side, I have something else to bang on about now - the pain and ecstasy of it all. More pain than ecstasy, but - Peeps, I can feel a Youtube coming on.

But laptop - or something - won't allow me to embed. Bugger.

"I'm waiting for my man ....."


Zhoen said...

Also a favorite of Nanny Ogg, when she is passing herself off as a harmless old biddy.

Complexify your sugar, make it more difficult to eat. Baby carrots, apples, even a very crunchy cookie. Our ancestors would gorge on fruit, hork it up, then gorge some more. It's deep in our genes to eat all the sweet we can find.

Digitalesse said...

Yes, it is indeed 'rockanroll' and taming our hardwired sugar habit is probably the closest we'll ever get to some mind-altering tune-in or drop-out or drop-in or whatever those groovy rebels are supposed to do.

I made the mistake of eating a ... gasp! ... Rocky Road on Friday which was indeed the beginning of my rocky road to dietary ruin. As if a switch was flipped and suddenly I had a craving for more of the sweet stuff. I think I need some sort of 12 step programme. Seriously.

Reading the Signs said...

Hi Zhoen,

Are you giving me the defineonline link so I can look up Lawks? Ignore my disingenuous stance, I', English, innit, and know my nursery rhymes. "Lawks-a-mercy on us, This is none of I!" - etc. But thank you.

Thank you also for the sugar advice. For someone as addicted and affected as I am, the whole approach needs to be hardcore. I am on a seven-step programme.

Digi? Damn serious, me too! And this seven-step programme I am on is designed for such as you and I - but sans M.E., and this can be a little problematic. Having breakfast within an hour of waking, for example, and the amount of protein one should eat. Lots of potential pitfalls. But interesting nevertheless.

Evenings are the worst for craving, I find. Don't know how I'd resist a Rocky Road if I had to be in the same room as it.

Cusp said...

when I relapsed a few years back the sugar thing went haywire and just before I so ill I had to stop working I was hooked on Coca Cola...sugar+ caffeine. Hell getting off.

I found I have to cut out the sugar, replace with protein and try to eat as few carbs as poss .... and if I do they have to be complex and wholegrain...and eat every 2 hours and cut out all stims....even tea.

Jo Spence

made some wonderful images about sugar addiction

Reading the Signs said...

Cusp, Coca Cola, sweets and cake (plus the morning double strength latte) sounds perfect - so you can see that I'm not yet a recovering addict - just an addict.

Your current regime is probably what I will be doing. Mega portions of protein + complex carb 3 times a day just exhausts me. Seeing mega expensive nutritional therapist on Thursday.

Mim said...


Complex carbs, a bit of protein, plenty of fruit and veg, good fat like olive oil, almonds, walnuts. Satisfying!

Good luck from a reformed gorger . . .

Reading the Signs said...

Mim, yes to quite a lot of that for me too. No nuts at the moment though. All kinds of interesting things in a morning smoothie. And out goes the red meat again. Just as well.