I have just eaten a bacon sandwich. This isn't meant as a confession - I don't feel virtuous about being a vegetarian, I just fell into being one because I stopped wanting to eat meat. Why it should feel more ok to have the occasional bit of cured pork rather than, say, a fillet steak (which I used to adore), I don't know; one of the reasons I stopped wanting to have meat was because I began to shudder at the notion of eating living, sentient creatures. And I once had an intense eye-to-eye encounter with a pig on an organic farm that I can only describe as a meeting of souls. Ah, go ahead, tell me I've got the soul of a pig! But the pig in question was a very intelligent one and quite clearly had a soul that was finer and infinitely more sympathetic than many human creatures one encounters (or perhaps I'm just turning into a veggie/misanthrope type). We had a connection.
It's a symptom of how things are. My already-delinquent immune system is misbehaving. I'll skip the dreary facts, but one of the side-effects is that I don't actually seem to be properly absorbing nutrients. I eat plenty fish, pulses, tofu and what-have-you but nothing ever seems to hit the spot. No wonder I'm thinking about cake and chocolate all the time. Or is that just greed? No, shut up, inner malicious voice, the malabsorption thing is an established fact - and greed also perhaps, but shut up anyway. I need to be kind to myself, and that means schokolade, kaffee und kuchen mit the odd roll-up cigarette (how the devil did that creep in?) and glass of prosecco. Actually, boringly, it means none of those things, it means regular, small, bland, low-fat, nutrient-dense snacklets, it means calming everything down, not doing the regular swimming thing, immune system clearly sees this as a call to arms.
I went into the sea twice with Daughter on the weekend. There is simply nothing like it and how many days in the year can one do that in Blighty anyway? Today, back on the Edge, the wind is gusting about, bending the top of our remaining cherry tree, reminding me that we must get it cut back this year. Everything wants to become forest here. The gravel path that leads to the lawn and apple tree is covered with bracken and something else that I don't know the name of.
It's too early for autumn.
10 comments:
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huh! sort of feels like autumn's come early up here in god's own country too... wild winds, downpours, me in slippers and cardigan... sorry to hear this frustrating digestive news, but enjoy the bacon.
not sure what's going on here - last comment was me too!!
Ah, and there was me thinking I had a mysterious (but strangely familiar-sounding) new reader.
Blogger is a bit weird these days, I find FB.
This post has made me want to seriously overindulge. You mention so many fine, (mainly) wholesome things.
I wondered, after writing the above, if I was missing the point in certain respects. Yet I do note that giving into such indulgence isn't quite so straightforward, not least for the reasons you mention.
I had a walk round the other day, and my surroundings already started to feel autumnal. Aided by the weather, but significantly amplified by the knowledge that June 21st was almost a month ago, already.
I don't think you've missed the point, Trousers - I did list some of the good stuff of life, didn't I? And I kind of slid around the subject of my Condition - because right now I'm keeping fingers crossed that it will all simmer down.
Yes, the nights are getting darker - already. But I think we should both try to push autumn away for at least another month or so. I'm doing my bit here on the Edge and I think it's working - a patch of blue sky came later.
I do not wish to minimize how you feel, but there is something distinctly Grahan Greene in the notion of a vegetarian taking solace in pork products.
Then the desire of everything to be forest is a dream of midsummer's night.
Is it in the air ?? I ate beans, tofu (which I haven't had in ages) and brown rice yesterday. I felt virtuous yesterday. Today I feel ill and with a very grumbly nauseous tum.
Trees are a'blowin' here too..and the arborialist is going to cut some down/prune next week
Mongag, hello! I wasn't so much taking solace from the bacon sarnie, it's just that the bacon was in the fridge and I was hungry, without any other immediately identifiable source of protein, having been a bit lax on the shopping front of late. Got the tofu later you see. Good, I think we've sorted that out.
The desire for everything to be forest lives in the earth here - well, because it is mostly forest, and has been for as long as anyone knows, so it has an ancient heart. To find the place of transformation one has to go very deep into it - and most people (myself included) get lost at some point.
Cusp, is what in the air - tofu and beans? I don't think so. Oh, you mean indigestion - not actually what I have, though it probably sounded like it (hope you're feeling better today). I had potato latkes this evening - fault of Ms Pants who put a photo and recipe up on her blog and reminded me how nice they were. Steamed greens on the side to make up for it.
Pruning trees, though, may well be in the air.
No I know you don't have the indigestion :O( but I meant the whole business of wanting foods that are not good for you...coffee, choc etc etc and yet even when one eats 'good stuff' one pays for it -- or at least I have today.
Latkes..... mmmmmmmm :O) Naughty Pants for putting temptation in your path
Pruning : deffo > there'll be a lot less tree here by this time next week and more light in the new rooms
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