Inspired to take to my bed in style today. All this really means is that I have my laptop perched on a pillow and a mug of green tea on my bedside locker, brought to me by Mr. Signs who is working at home today. And the view from my window of neighbours’ rooftops and black branches against a white and curiously bright sky satisfies me in ways I find hard to describe; the here-and-nowness of this forest place that I love and feel connected to, yet could also quite easily leave, move away from, and perhaps will, but not yet. The dressing table mirror partially blocks the view, but reflects the face of a large-eyed sun that has centre place on a wallhanging from Mexico. Outside and inside the room there is nothing my eyes want to shy away from. I can hear that downstairs the television has been switched on, Barack Obama is about to be inaugurated. A good day.
I missed a shrink appointment, not strong enough to go. He sounded sad. As my dear father said when he was on his way out (but we didn’t know), all things have an end, except for the sausage, which has two ends. So wise, so true. This is the beginning of one end, and the sausage was never really properly realised, let alone eaten. Such is life and so it goes, and just as well for we live, believe it or not, modestly. Shrink, though new to the problems that face PWME, has been a witness to issues that brought me to look for help. For this was not simply a life-enhancing journey I embarked on. I will need to find other ways of dealing with people and situations that are malignant and harmful to me and things are, perhaps, a little clearer, even if not resolved. I am thankful for true friends and those of my family who know me.
I watched the Inauguration with Mr,.Signs. The almost businesslike tone of Barack Obama, the fact that he did not come out with a string of memorable slogans, felt just right and satisfying. And I loved the address by Joseph Lowery and hope God did too because he was the one being spoken to, and he has quite an earful to take in, not all of it as good as what came out today. But if you are God I imagine you just, like, deal with all that.