The Belle Sleepeth

Apologies to the divinely talented blogger known in these parts as Mr. Anna, but some things are just too good to keep to oneself, and your faithful Sign-reader would not be true to her nature or to you, dear reader, if she did not share the following; this being a "constrained writing" version of the Sleeping Beauty story, written with no vowels save for the letter 'e'. It was supposed to be a combined effort of hers and mine but my input is minimal because, to be honest, I just couldn't hack it. Georges Perec-in-Heaven - enjoy!

Kween gets twelve feefemmes t'bless her bebe gel.

"The bebe'll be meek'n'sweet," the twelve femmes deemed. When the twelfth femme went, then the never-expected rebel femme (13) left them bereft, when she expressed, "The bebe Belle, when seventeen, meets sex, defenceless, needle-tempted, then sleeps, sleeps, sleeps, 100 evernevers.

"Belle's Mère she weeps, Belle's Père decrees: "We'll defend Belle. Never-ever needles here, else Belle'll bleed'n'sleep.

"Seventeen evernevers fleet. Belle feels the secret, femme-gender-engendered need t'see needles. Then, the seventeenth evernevers' eve, she creeps, t'where elder femme 13 keeps secret needles. Belle sees, she feels, she bleeds, she yelps, she keels, helpless - then, she sleeps. Mère sleeps, Père sleeps.

100 evernevers went. Then evergreens grew keen. Men, need-greed-tempted, been'n'left. Then entered the Men's Bees Knees.

He's sweet. The steed he steers, everwhere seeks, then enters the keep where Belle sleeps, bedded w'100 evernevers' evergreens. Next t'her bed he kneels, tempted, presses between her cheeks the redness-wetness dew. Belle feels the wetness deed, the 100 evernevers' eventlessness ends. "Serve thee best," she weeps. There's cheers.

(and we also did Red Riding Hood and Cinderella, with no 'e's at all. I know, I know - we're mad, we are.)