Well I may as well come right out and say it: I am having a bad spell. After close to a quarter of a century of this disease it isn't exactly news. People who have M.E./CFIDS have bad spells, and I'm not speaking of the severely afflicted who rarely, if ever, have anything else. It is not something one particularly shares with others any more because that is one of the things about a chronic condition: after a few years there is nothing more you or anyone can say about it. But still - here I am saying it.
The relapsing seems to have become a January thing whereas my worst months used to be in the summer. Actually, I no longer know what my worst/best months are. I think I am less able to override these days. There are several poetry-related projects I would like to turn my attention to, places where I am scheduled to be in the next few days - but I need to be better than this.
Fortunately I have a packet of magickal incense wands - a Christmas present - and I am hoping that these, plus incantations of the uplifting and melodious kind in a ritual of my own devising, will do the trick. But on the other hand, I don't think I'm in a fit state to conduct this yet.
Pass the co-proxamol.