Saturday, September 18, 2010

yo ho ho, an' it's that time o' year again!

Ahoy there, ye rum-swillin' rapscallions! No need fer this brave beauty to tell ye that it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day - time fer all landlocked lubbers to shiver the timbers o' the ol' poxy lingo an get on down to Cap'n Hooker's party. 'Cept there en't no liquor on account o' me new grog-free existence. Time was when I could've drunk any one o' ye under the table, arrr, many's the time I've Amstelled, Beujolaised and caroused into the night, crushed ten men's skulls between me thighs while singin' yo ho ho an' a bottle o' rum. Those were the days, me hearties! But what I always says is as there's more ‘n one way o' havin' a good time, and be assured that if a good time's to be had, I'll be havin' it, one way or t'other, with a hogshead o’ peppermint tea.

Drivelswiggers an’ landlubbers all be feelin’ a chill in the air an’ it be that time o’ year when I be goin’ to the binnacle and takin’ out me old purple shell suit trousers which be shipshape as the day I first got ‘em from Barnardo’s charity shop, arrr, an’ served me well this many a year. I stuck me prow in Primark t’other day thinkin’ to snaffle meself somethin’ cheap an’ cheerful for the season. Saved me doubloons an’ shipped out again smartish on seein’ nothin’ that could hold a candle to me purples.

Shiver me timbers, it’s gettin’ late, if I don’t get some shut-eye I’ll be nothin’ but shark-bait - an’ anyways I’m almost out o’ pirattical words. Peckers up, me ol’ salts, an’ a yo ho ho from Cap’n Signs’ Jollyboat to y’all!



an' a massive P.S. - if you want to read the best Pirate poem ever go here - ah gwaaan, I insist - 'tis Katy Evans Bush's (aka Baroque in Hackney) Pirate Prufrock. Fabulous.

13 comments:

zhisou said...

I guess these days we have to do it in a Somali accent.

Cusp said...

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh ! an' a bot'l o' rum !

Reading the Signs said...

I'll do me best next year, Zhisou. Lacks the 'arrr' factor though and might remind me of real life.

Cusp, Aaaarrrrrggghhh? Go easy on the rum

Fire Bird said...

'stuck me prow in Primark'... a winning line if ever there was one!!

Reading the Signs said...

thank 'ee, Fire Bird - I'll 'ave to include it in one o' me verses.

trousers said...

(o) (in pirate speak, if 'ee adn't noticed)

Reading the Signs said...

arr, to be sure, Trousers, thank 'ee fer callin' my attention to it though.

Mim said...

Oh, no. I missed the day. Landlubber I.

Reading the Signs said...

Blisterin' barnacles, Mim, there's hope for 'ee yet - be sure to put a mark in yer log fer next year!

Montag said...

"Talk Like a Pirate" Holiday Monday is already here again? Hard to believe.
I was looking forward to this year's gathering at Brighton, just to see exactly how long you could say things like "Shiver my timbers!" and "Arrgh!" five times quickly without ending up saying "Peckers up...!"

Not very long, as it turns out.

However, you could inspire a whole new series of "Peckers up,___!" films as a modern day homage to the "Carry on,____" films.

Reading the Signs said...

Montag, I tried three times to reply to you yesterday but Blogger deleted my comment -

Reading the Signs said...

well look 'ee here, me ol' matey: it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day on 19th September, so 'tisn't always a Monday.

It's shiver me timbers, and arrr! (general affirmation of just about everything) rather than arrgh! (more an expression of annoyance). And pecker refers to nose or beak (think woodpecker), meaning that you're more likely to keep head held high if pecker is up.

See there be more to this kind o' parley than meets the eye - aye! Arrr!

Montag said...

So "peckers" means "noses"??!!
As in "nose-peckers"?
Surely you don't think you will get that one by me.