Thursday, August 19, 2010

I blew a thousand pounds in just over half an hour yesterday. Eight hundred went on blood tests and the rest on consultation with specialist. Thank you BUPA health insurance, but there wasn't enough over for ultrasound so thanking you in anticipation, National Health Service . Even though I haven't got the results of anything yet, I am feeling cheerful about it all. The PBC wants attention - ursodeoxycholic acid - and specialist wants me to have a liver biopsy. We'll see about that. I'm going to Berlin next month to the wedding of an ex-stepbrother (it's complicated) and will take the opportunity to see a specialist with an alternative approach. As everybody knows, Germany is the place for all things Liver, and I look forward to going back to my old stomping ground and getting the low down. I have a sense that all manner of things will be well, manageable and to some extent treatable.

And also, it's nearly autumn - my time, my season, I can feel its breath in the air though we are still in summer.


trousers said...

Here's hoping all's well with your health. A knowing "aye" regarding Berlin and all that (obviously my own knowing "aye" is relevant only, or mainly, to me - but I hope that your return to your old stomping ground brings many delights however subtle, poignant and/or rambunctious). Best wishes in any case.

I love and dread Autumn in equal measure. I feel its onset too and, although in recent years I've embraced the summer as my defining season, I feel that the melancholy of summer's close marks my time as much as anything.

Reading the Signs said...

Trousers, I was actually very young when I stomped there. I do like Berlin (and have appreciated some of your blog photos).

I've never really experienced the melancholy that so many feel at summer's close and think I'm probably unusual in this.

Zhoen said...

I yearn for autumn, and always have.

Read about a study saying tai chi seems to help for fibromyalgia. Which is not what you have, but I have to wonder if you've ever done this very slow form of movement. Just a stray thought, no real rationale behind bringing it up.

Cusp said...

Its good to hear the hope in your voice :O)

I love autumn too...don't know why but means a sense of new beginnings to me whereas for many people they seem to see it as the beginning of a death (summer ?).

Richard Lucas said...

Berlin bleibt doch Berlin. My favourite city, one of my old stamping grounds as well, in the days before the Wall came down - have fun, and enjoy the Berliner Luft.

Reading the Signs said...

Zhoen, thanks - I think tai chi would really be worth looking into - just as a way of bringing movement into the body - that this body might actually tolerate.

Cusp, you're probably a bit Jewish (I'm sure I've said this before) - because autumn, as we know, is the time of new year. The light within grows brighter, yes? Of course yes.

Richard - und du auch? I will be revealing how ancient I am when I tell you that I lived there just before the wall went up.

Good to see you btw, and I'm reminded that I'd intended to add you to roll - will do so now.

Kahless said...

Glad to hear you are getting your monies worth from your health insurance.

Fire Bird said...

oh yes autumn... me too. Born in it, and always most alive in it, with the familiar yearning, nameless sadness and joy that mark my most alive times.

Montag said...

1000 pounds ?! And no biopsy yet ? At those prices, it is a bit like gastronomy: foie gras and truffles rather than medicine.
I love autumn, too, but with the love tinged with longings and regrets and wishes to call back the summer; a love that questions itself.

Reading the Signs said...

Kahless, I've been over to your home and see you have gone completely random now - congrats in order?

FB, I was born in the autumn too. I think it is my spring - I never get the sadness then, tend to have that more in summer.

Montag, yes a whole grand, as I live and breathe. I shouldn't let them get a smidgeon of my precious liver, should I? Having said that, the insurance would cough up again if I decide to do that.

I won't think about it now, though. I'll be like Scarlett from Gone With the Wind and "think about it later".

(I do not like to think of them having a piece of me, be it ever so small).

Kahless said...

Not sure I understand Signsie?

Reading the Signs said...

What I mean is that the darkahless seems to have gone.