I have a core belief that the universe is not a safe place. A cognitive behavioural therapist revealed this to me and encouraged me to challenge it, even though I think that, as beliefs go, it’s quite a reasonable one. I can live with this. But today I went to the dentist who gave me a shot of local anaesthetic with adrenaline, in spite of my notes saying No Adrenaline – on account of it not sitting well with people who have M.E. It did occur to me to check, as I usually do, that he was remembering to give me the other thing, but as I am a frequent visitor and we have been through this many times, I decided to trust the situation. My heart immediately told me something was wrong. It began to skip about. A good messenger, the heart.
My old German grandma who had fled Nazi Germany with gold pieces sewn into the lining of her fur coat, used to tell everyone they should “be heppy because things can only get vorse”. So clearly I get my core belief from her. Are things getting worse? The muscles in my shoulders and legs say yes. And am I happy? In the teeth of it all - you bet.