Friday, January 26, 2007

Chocolate is a Bastard

Forget all the things I said, it is a low-down, cheating villain of a substance. It was organic too, 76% cocoa solids. A plague and a pox on their clinical trials. I have a migraine brewing in my whole body. My skin prickles, there is lead in my skull and a storm brewing behind my eyes. No, don’t offer condolences, it’s my own fault for allowing myself to believe in the essential goodness of something that has stabbed me in the back time and again. I think I am about to throw up. Good, I want it out of my system. I lied about the other things - it was a lousy kisser and no good in bed.

8 comments:

cusp said...

You poor thing ........it's amazing what we'll try when we're desperate. After that report re. chocolate was reported, everyone bought me choc for Xmas .... luckily that's one thing that doesn't make me feel bad so I enjoyed it. Made no difference to my energy levels and just made me fatter but hey ho !

Reading through the other comments it has made me think about all the things we must have all tried in order to try and overcome our symptoms >> it'd be intersting to compile a full compilation list of everyones's experiments: a sort of Top 100. Maybe they could even make it into a 'List show' on Channel 4 with a geeky presenter and loads of inter cuts of Z list celebs saying they've got CFS too......
Here's some of the things I've tried:
No chemicals (cleaning products, furnishings, carpets etc. etc.)
No perfumes
Homeopathy
Osteopathy
cranial osteopathy
reiki
aromatherapy
herbs
iridology
reflexology
magnetic bracelets
magnetic innner soles
CBT (of course)
GET (of course)
Therapy (long time ago when my symptoms were supposed to be down to me being neurotic)
chanting
visualisations
positive affirmations
Louise L.Hay stuff


rest
exercise
pushing through the pain
embracing my pain
bed rest
going back to work anyway
freelancing ( so I could work at my own pace -- but then I couldn't work at all)
pulling myself together/pulling up my boot straps

diary free diet
gluten free diet
hypoglycaemic diet
macrobiotics
detox
candida diet
raw food diet
juicing
reishi mushrooms
powerfoods

vitamins
nutritionist
Vit C injections
Soemof these have helped a biyt and some have been a waste of time and money

Being an old hippy, there's a Dory Previn song that often goes through my head when I contemplate all this:
How'm I Gonna Keep Myself Together from her 'We're Children Of Coincidence And Harpo Marx' album. If you can get hold of it the words will ring true and some of the oher songs will make you chuckle.

I do hope you feel better soon and stay away from the chocolate !

Reading the Signs said...

cusp, this is great - you have written a List Poem. Now all you need to do is think of a title - I think "Things I've Tried" would be good. There's nothing like naming the particulars and I was ticking the things off as I read. Yes, must have done most of those too. How I dislike the things Louise Hay writes, so much of that "ray of sunshine" stuff has at its heart a blame-the-victim agenda. And MsLexia actually featured her in their last year's Writer's Diary.
Dory Previn - I know Mythical Kings by heart (me very old hippy) but don't know the song you mention - will look for it.
I'm better today, thanks. A bit spaced. Not too much damage done.

Ms Melancholy said...

A wonderful list poem!

I would love to ban Louise Hay from all booksellers, and that awful woman who wrote 'Women Who Love Too Much'. And 'Men are from Mars'. In fact, let's just ban the lot. I like Ms Pants version which is 'Women Who Write Too Much'. Very funny. We should write our own self help book perhaps? How to potter in pjs without feeling bad?

Reading the Signs said...

I feel a reality tv show idea coming on - didn't Alan Partridge suggest "Knowing You, Knowing M.E. (Aha)"? This might be a good title for your Z list celeb idea, cusp.

And yes, I'm up for banning the lot - but How To Live In PJs, I like. This could be Big. I feel a book deal coming on. I am a Woman Who - need to think about this one.

cusp said...

Thank you for your kind comments on my list. I think all the ideas for generating some sort of commercial benefit (TV shows, books, bonfire celebrations of L.L. Hay's work) from our plight are great.

I have, in the past, wondered about a new fast/slow food chain based on the old 'Spud-U-Like' model. This chain would be for those who embrace the CFS/M.E./PWME/CFDIS/MCS model and would be called Slob-U-Like or the more refined branches (in the West End perhaps) could be called Recline-U-Like.

One would phone the chosen branch where-upon a Company minicab would collect and transport you to your desired eatery. These would be totally chemical free establishments, cleaned with only vinegar and water sprays and offer specialist M.E./CFS menus: gluten/dairy/sugar/additive/fat/spore/fungal/meat/fish-free bon bouche with ne'er the risk of incurring another relapse or that funny foggy feeling. These epicurean delights would, of course, be consumed whilst reclining on sofas, day beds or, in the case of the more elistist barnches, on chaise longue andsuurounded by attendants.

What do you think ? It'd get us out and about wouldn't it ? You could even have little bowls strewn about containing helpful medication like Lustral, Seroxat and a notice board declaring the unhelpful nature of too much graded exercise.

I'll leave these ideas here so that anyone who cares to might peruse and mull over them,this fine Sunday morn.

(I'm afraid I may be beginning to lose the plot ---- too much rice bran and soya milk for breakfast: too much excitement !)

Reading the Signs said...

I have definitely lost the plot today - but have greatly enjoyed your musings.

Anonymous said...

I wouldnt knock Louise Hay, Women Who Love Too Much etc just becoz they didnt help you...some have found them very helpful

Reading the Signs said...

Hi anon - I've never looked to LH for help as such because I'm not drawn by what I've read. But clearly lots of people are and if they are helped that's good.