Monday, October 28, 2013

Before Winter


Time flies – is that the date?  But look, I have been hellishly busy with matters arising.  Ok, I have had an autumn relapse and barely left the house, but living with M.E. is a full-time occupation – some Sylvia Plath lines come to mind: I do it exceptionally well, I do it so it feels like hell.  It feels closer to the truth (though less poetic) to say that I do it so it feels just about ok. I no longer care if what people have is a vision of the genteel invalid lifestyle.  If you want the the nitty gritty about living with M.E. you can easily find it but I have done my time at that particular coalface, I think.  Just picture me a bit (but not unattractively) off-colour in soft yoga pants  looking out over treetops with my notebook, a china cup of Darjeeling on a tray, some thin arrowroot biscuits on a plate and a flaming chrysanthemum in a slender vase.  The yoga pants are true, the rest not so much, especially the arrowroot.

 On the weekend we moved our bed to the back room with the best view.  Son, whose room it was, came to help.  So I really do look out at treetops and sky and I am happier about this, and the new, uncluttered space, than I can begin to express.  New spaces always promise new possibilities. Soon, very soon, life gets (relatively speaking) busy.  The writing and the workshopping are wanting one’s focus and vitality.  It is the lovely Daughter’s birthday this week and we will be heading to the Smoke for a small family gathering and sleepover.  Next week we will be going away for a while to the Jurassic coast and after that we will be in deep, dark winter. 

 It may be for these reasons, and others which I don’t here identify, that I go blog-silent for a space.  And if that happens you will know that I am not dead, but sleeping, like Snow-White after biting on the poisoned apple.  I am as pretty as she, and as stupid.


16 comments:

D. Phoenix said...

Oh, that last line. Perfect.

I'm glad for your treetop view, not so for the busy parts and the grind of it all. The new space sounds positive and perhaps restful and potentially calming. Taking space from the blog can be a good thing, too. Onward, yes?

Reading the Signs said...

Yes indeed, D

x

upnorth said...

you write so eloquently. Sorry you have been so unwell. Change of space does spark creativity doesn't it? Room with a view? I like the sound of that. Hope your weekend away goes OK.

Jo said...

I hope your stay on the Jurassic Coast proves as spiritually restoring as my recent visit. Interesting isn't it how many still hold the Victorian view of the invalid, silently suffering on her chaise longue.

Fire Bird said...

always your words move and inspire me... I look for them, but will always wait... sending courage for the dark months.

Anna MR said...

She is not dead but sleepeth, and she does it so it feels real.

Always a delight to read your new words, Schwesterlein. Your previous words, too, of course; but the new ones are cool coz they're, like, new, innit, like I've not read them before.

Enjoy your times away, wontcha my dear, and do give Lovely Daughter my birthday greetings. It would be lovely to see some photies from the Jurassic Coast, ye ken? Is a place I strongly plan to find myself in, too, sometime. No dates fixed yet, alas, but here's hoping. I will vicariously view the scenery via your eyes, thank you in advance.

Strangely, I am finding some comfort in the Dark Season falling / having fallen upon us. There is a permission to draw inward some, to deal with one's own matters, whichever they may be – and they are quite varied, actually – which is better than that they would be all samey, from where I'm standing; with some stuff to firmly hide from, and other to firmly hide within. I hope you have similar things, Signsie.

And do please break a leg or several with the writing and the workshopping, k? K.

Plenty of focus and vitality your way from the Darkest North, and mwahs to boot.

x

PS wv teArtie – that's you, you Artsy Person.

Reading the Signs said...

Thanks for your lovely words, friends.

We are getting our chimneys uncovered in preparation for the coming winter. Fire in the hearth!

Mwah!

xxxx

Montag said...

Take care...
I see Anna calls you Schwesterlein. It reminds me of Goethe: mein Schwesterlein klein...

Fliege fort! Fly away! Fly from the dark season.

Montag said...

Baleful winter comes on with an eye for vengeance for the past two years. Brrr!

Trust you are well.

Reading the Signs said...

Thank you, Montag x

Montag said...

Merry Xmas and Happy New !

It has been warm and cold here. Most excellent that the weather finds itself flummoxed and unable to make up its mind also.

roselle said...

Hoping you've spat the poisoned apple out by now, Beautiful. If not, here's a hug. If yes, here's a hug. Win-win. Roselle xx

Anna MR said...

Schwesterlein –  komm zurück, Schneewittchen, das Welt braucht dir.

x

Anna MR said...

Or is it *der* Welt? I think it is. Ah well. It's the thought that counts, auf Deutsch auch.

I understand all about bloghaustia and that you've other things to attend to, but (no pressure) your words do keep the world turning, and it's beginning to exhibit a certain wobble, like a top that's running out of spin. Ye ken?

x

Reading the Signs said...

Roselle, thanks, dear you, for this lovely and so welcome win-win Xx

Schwes, it's "die", darling, and I suppose I really should come back if only to keep your German grammar up to scratch. And also it can't have escaped anyone's notice that the end of the world seems increasingly and manifestly imminent, for which I suppose I should take some responsibility, along with global warming etc.... Mwah! x

Anna MR said...

[ha! my plan is working! she promises to return!]

Well, I would have got "die" on the third guess, I guess. Mein Deutsch sehr schlecht ist, Scwesterleinchen, but happily, I've got your negligence of my skills to blame. Hurrah.

I failed to say this yesterday – but in this country, Valentine's Day, that exclusive lovers' do, is extended to friends in general (I've prolly told you this a hudred times): ystävänpäivä, Friend's Day. So, you know, hyvää ystävänpäivää, with many dotted a's, especially for you, because you are my friend. Do put on the generic Mediterranean accent for the last phrase.

Global warming hath surely descended upon us, yes. We have zero or even plus degrees. Just, you know, to lend a note of urgency to your words riding out like so many verbal knights on white horses, to rescue us all from an early spring (much as I'd like an early spring, it's just unnatural).

And not even mentioning the imminency of the end of the world otherwise. But you know it's lurking. So stop it. The end, I mean. I am not ready to go, along with everything else. I think you'll agree that saving yours truly from going is your primary task of utmost and prioritised importance, never mind the teeming billions that include so many pot-bellied children in dire need of rescue.

So just watch it.

x A