Friday, January 27, 2012

How Things Are in January

I have decided to be kinder to myself. If a family member, friend or (come to think of it) anyone were to commit to doing something and then couldn't, I would not berate them. I would not treat them as I have treated myself, pushing them to keep going as though kicking a poor, worn-out donkey. Shame on me for having done that. I am as deserving of consideration as the donkey. A digression: in our family the donkey has a special place. My daughter and I both had donkeys as our special stuffed animal transitional comfort creature. More than transitional, they accompanied us through childhood. We love the donkey and support the Donkey Sanctuary. Son used to send them his pocket money. End of digression.

I have not been strong or well enough to consider working on my novel project right now. It will have to wait until things change for the better. I am carrying on with poetry work though this too is circumscribed, for at the moment my bed and dear little Macbook Air is the centre of operations. I do get up from time to time - for essentials plus writerly engagements - but the earth's rotation and gravity have to be negotiated.

Signs Cottage is not necessarily the best place for me, it has stairs and other inconvenient things. But Mr. Signs works from home several days a week, and cat is here. Life, still. Sweet.

Tomorrow is the mater's 89th birthday bash (meal in a local posh hotel). She does Pilates and aqua aerobics and is in rude health and sprightly as a pixie.

Back soon with posts from the front. They will be short, pithy - and unspeakably heroic.

(The title of this post refers, quite shamelessly, to the title of Ros Barber's poetry collection: How Things Are on Thursday)


12 comments:

Johannah said...

Donkey! I was always sad when Rosie and I lived together and I found him kicked off the bed!
Hope you're feeling brighter soon x

Reading the Signs said...

Hello Jo - Donkey was kicked of the bed? Outrageous. But have a look at him now - he has had a terrific makeover :)

Anna MR said...

You will not be surprised to know I too have felt a lifelong love for the donkey.

Obviously, I hope you negotiate the gravity situation with as little discomfort (let alone pain or worry), and if you don't feel like negotiating it one day/week, just give yourself the total permission to fully stay in bed. And if you cannot write poetry, you can think it. The same goeth with novel, I believe. Choose to believe.

x

Reading the Signs said...

Of course you love the donkey - it could not be otherwise.

Thinking poetry is perfectly possible - Osip Mandelstam did it - had to when there was no possibility of writing it down. And I think his wife then memorised it for him. Not possible with novel - but it will (just have to) wait for me.

x

Zhoen said...

One should be hard on oneself, when young and healthy and capable. A way to learn self discipline and achievement. But once learned, then kindness and tolerance for one's failings is vital, and spreads to others.

belinda whitworth said...

Am always so pleased to find a new Signs post, both for myself and because of what it means about how you are. Did anything come of the possibility of publishing your poetry?

Cusp said...

LOVING 'unpspeakably heroic' ;o)

I can just see you now, swathed in shawls and cloaks with a bonnet and basket, battling against a head wind to deliver comfort and succour to the needy

P.S. I adore donkeys too and would love to own one

Reading the Signs said...

Zhoen, I think that's very true.

Belinda - thank you and I am sending you an emoticon :) (apparently they are all the rage now - always quite liked the sideways smiley). Small things happened/happening.

Cusp, I might end up being so heroic it will be impossible to speak about but yes - I will be wearing all that and more ;O) (I'd know that Cusp emoticon anywhere). Good to see you. It's been ages!

Megan said...

Thank goodness for beds and MacBooks! Do you know Jane Kenyon's "Having it Out with Melancholy"? It always seems to help when I'm feeling especially smothered by illness and unkindness toward myself.

Reading the Signs said...

Megan, it looks rather good - doesn't seem to be readily available in the UK.

Fire Bird said...

a bit wearied by family party heroics myself but sending courage, and happy to see you here always...


WV - biffliks (haven't intuited the meaning yet but like sounds)

Reading the Signs said...

- and happy to see you here, dear Fire Bird (I sometimes think the Word Ver Leprechauns speak a kind of Yiddish made of ancient languages - this one is Old Norse, I reckon)