Sunday, August 19, 2007

70 Things - Untagged.

1. I have a triceratops in my bath.

2. He once had 3 brothers.

3. I can make Tarka Dall like you get in restaurants.

4. I don’t like buying new clothes

5. I used to love The Monkees.

6. I believed that smoking menthol cigarettes made you sterile.

7. I went to 11 different schools.

8. I was expelled for missing a biology exam.

9. I lost my virginity at 16.

10. The background music was Break on Through by The Doors.

11. I had a grandmother called Eva.

12. I have three different kinds of reading glasses.

13. When I was 10 I wanted to be a ballerina.

14. My father sang in South Pacific.

15. My first word was “picture”.

16. One of my fictional characters was a carpenter called Emily.

17. I once had a best friend called Shakela.

18. When I was 13 I wanted to be an air stewardess.

19. The Female Eunuch is why I love Germaine Greer.

20. My husband makes perfect bramble jelly.

21. The first film I saw was a cartoon of Tweetie Pie.

22. I have a stuffed donkey in the attic.

23. I didn’t have breasts till I was 15.

24. I am a late developer.

25. I read all the Enid Blyton Mallory Towers and St. Clare books.

26. I have my own rock concert.

27. I never liked Brussel Sprouts.

28. I don't tell you the half of it.

29. I won 2nd prize for a daffodil when I was 9.

30. I can only drive an automatic car.

31. I miss my father.

32. I used to fiddle the electric meter in my bedsit.

33. I haven’t been out of Europe.

34. Unless you count a kibbutz in Israel.

35. I know how to pick oranges and lemons.

36. My Lewis chess queen says Oi Veh.

37. I don’t have a favourite colour.

38. My son once found a four-leafed clover

39. I have a necklace made of moonstones.

40. I like IKEA meatballs with lingonberries.

41. I thought I would never ever use a mobile phone.

42. I have a Samsung D600.

43. My mother is 84 and very fit.

44. She does Pilates and acqua aerobics.

45. I was scared by a mountain once.

46. I want to go ski-ing again.

47. I have a favourite Sappho fragment.

48. I kept my daughter’s milk teeth in a box.

49. I can never find my nail scissors.

50. I want a cigarette.

51. I play the recorder and the penny whistle.

52. If I moved from here I would miss the trees.

53. Sometimes I want unbroken horizons.

54. My grandmother has visited me in dreams.

55. I have kept all my old Spare Rib diaries.

56. I wish I could be tidy.

57. My father’s ancestors were Sephardic.

58. People still ask me where I originally come from.

59. I taught myself how to cook on a Baby Belling.

60. I am not entirely sure why I am doing this.

61. I am an alto.

62. My favourite choral work is Mozart’s Mass in C Minor.

63. I like the circle of light from anglepoise lamps..

64. I have a picture of a lion king.

65. My mother-in-law was a potter.

66. My other favourite choral work is Bach’s St. John’s Passion.

67. I am going to Edinburgh tomorrow.

68. My kids are doing things in the Festival.

69. I am proud of them.

70. I thought I’d do 100 but changed my mind.

See you in a week or so.


Kahless said...

2. What happened to his brothers?
10. Great music - I love the Doors
24. Me too.
25. I love these books too!
28. Go on tell us!
54. That’s real nice.
58. Where do you originally come from?
67. Have a fun time.
Will miss you!

cusp said...

I like the idea of a Yiddish My Lewis chess queen best of all ;-)

Missing you already, already.....

Anna MR said...


1. You are fab.

2. Mwah.

3. ubuonxv - you be you on XV (another take on "Beware the ides of March")


aqrws - combining Equus and Aquarius

R.H. said...

4. I get everything from Savers.

7. I left school at fourteen, in a class for slow learners.

9. I had sex for the second time at twenty-eight, in a Tehran brothel. (Slow learner.)

32. I've robbed coin-in-the-slot gas meters.

40. I tried Ikea food at our Richmond store. And it wasn't good; the furniture would probably taste better.

48. I've got my daughter's first teeth as well, in a pretty little container.

50. Me too, but it's hard to type when you're rolling a smoke.

51. I play the harmonica, and have five of them, including one from the 1930's Depression, which just happens to have the best tone: mellow and poignant.

56. I wish someone would come in and tidy up for me, each day.

60. Ditto.

70. I hope you appreciate my candour in this, it's not awfully uplifting, but far better than my stupidity.

Don't ever worry about race, politics, homosexuality and so on, because those who console, whoever they are and whatever they believe, will go to heaven

Reading the Signs said...

Hi Kahless,

Stegosaurus was thrown in the air and never came back to earth, the rest just went AWOL.

Re. 58, I say something different every time.

Hi Cusp,

And the King says Oi Gewalt!

Hi Anna Mr,

and Mwah right back atcha, darlin.


I appreciate your candour, yes, and the poignant sound of your mellow harmonica.

Reading the Signs said...

Have a good week, y'all. I'm looking forward to real scottish chips and Edinburgh rock. Not to mention the culture.


R.H. said...

Thanks. I forgot to mention number 63, which got me interested in replying to this. I collect lamps. I've got twelve in my living room alone, but rarely switch any on. I just like the idea of them, and their cosy light from the windows of other people's places. Optimism, that's what it is.
I hope you enjoy your holiday.

That's so pants said...

Signs! What are you like! You've got the makings of a memoir here. Hope it goes well for the Signs cubs in Edinburgh.



fluttertongue said...

I can never find my nail scissors. When I was packing I found I had six pairs. So, you know, if you have a nail scissor crisis I've got spares.

Collin said...

A very impressive list. :)

Anonymous said...

What a fun list, such an eclectic grouping of items. Likes, dislikes, facts, non-facts. It would take me days and days to come up with a list like that and it wouldn't be half as interesting.

Re: 50. I want a cigarette -- stay strong, Signs, stay strong.

Hope you are having a wonderful time in Edinburgh and that your kids are forcing you to smile constantly.

the periodic englishman said...

Hello traveller.

5. What happened?
8. Quite right, too.
19. Quite right, too. Hold onto that thought. she's turned into a loon.
22. Why?
36. Lewis chess pieces are the very best.
50. Be weak. Have one. They're brilliant fun. (God invented cigarettes, btw - He must have done. Smoke and be happy.)
52. Understood.
53. Also understood.
59. I love you.
60. No, it does make you seem rather strange, truth to tell.
62. Good.
66. Good.
67. Good. I grew up there. Watch out for NMJ.
68. V. good.
69. V. good + hurrah.
70. Boo. Change your mind again.

(Don't make me complete your list for you, Signs. That way lies disharmony and bedlam.)

I hope you've had a glorious time in Edinburgh, by the way, and I look forward to having you back. It is a beautiful city. Agree with me, or suffer.

Kind regards etc and hello to everyone else in your bloggy home......


Rabbit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rabbit said...

Great list Signs. Hope you’re enjoying Edinburgh. My cousin is here in a show too. My mum say’s it was great. I'll give you a wave from my window :)

Anna MR said...

Kwunck, Signs.

I know you're probably still enjoying Edinburgh etc (and I'm sure there's plenty to enjoy). But I worry about you possibly moving over there forever and abandoning us here in this box, because it's been ages and ages and you know, they invented internetty cafés particularly for this sort of thing, hmmmm?

Anyway, all this it to say, come back already, or at least speak to us from wherever you are. Also, the word ver was too good not to say something, so I just - unimaginatively - said what came out, off the top of my head.


Mellifluous Dark said...

Hello Signs,

Great list. I love the way it jump from one corner of life to its diametric opposite and then again and again...

Are you back? I hope you had a lovely time...

Reading the Signs said...

Hi R.H., I enjoyed it - thanks (12 lamps, blimey).

Pants, I know - when I'm famous I'll publish it as a chapbook.

Fluttertongue, I used to have spares too, they've gone down the black hole with the odd socks and ballpoint pens that work.

Thanks, Collin, it's great how life begins to stack up once you make a list.

David, I can't promise that I smiled constantly - but I didn't have a single cigarette.

Luciferic Englishman, you know and I know that cigs are made by the Devil himself, which is why we want them so much. And yes, actually, why didn't you complete my list for me? I know it would have been difficult because you're not me - but you could have tried! Oh well, you'll just have to do 100 things on your blog now.

Thanks Rabbit, I am waving to you retrospectively. I hadn't realised you lived in Edinburgh.

The word ver never lies, kwunck is exactly what I need, Anna, to climb back into my body. Never mind internet cafe, I was with you in spirit (as NMJ will testify).

Hi Ms Darko, thanks - I think I'm back. I did have a good time.

Anna MR said...

Good God, Signs. Mine would not be anything like as wonderful - I do really poorly in all the immediate word-association tests and Rorschach and all that shite. They only remind me of ink blots and a word's a word and it doesn't freely associate into anything except itself, particularly when it's expected to.

I'd forgotten this post, you know. Shame on me, and I don't know how it's possible, because it's bloody wonderful and I remembered it instantly when I saw it. And no wonder your Lion King looked so familiar.

Okay, going back to you over at a more recent place. Word ver has gone question marky. I may not be able to post this comment. We'll see. Excitement. Mwah.

Reading the Signs said...

Well being a creative writing teacher has to be good for something - and if you'd come to one of my classes this would just have been a little two-minute warm-up. But it is rather wonderful, you're right. And (but don't tell anyone), everyone can actually do it, Sees. You just have to switch off the thinking bit of the mind, see.

(I wondered if you'd come here and recognise Lion King).

Blogger said...

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